Isn't it curious how much power Love can have over our lives? The things we will do, or endure, just to have It. And what we will give up, to avoid losing It. Even when we don't have a full understanding of just what It is. Because elementally, we understand how powerful It is. When I was very young, I imagined that someday I would find someone special to love, but that was a long time off, so there was no need to worry about it. When I was older, but not nearly old enough, I was exposed to the darker side of love, vicariously, through the twisted relationships of my family and friends. Witnessing what they endured, I saw a lot of what I should avoid, but not a lot of what I was waiting for. When I married my first husband at the age of 17, I was trying to love the only way I knew how, and I was trying to secure a protector and a provider. It's a hard, cruel world out there, and I was entirely too young, and idealistic, not to mention naive and trusting, to survive long on my own. And very briefly, the idea of hiding at home, barefoot and pregnant, being provided for, was appealing. By the time I was 19, and getting divorced, and completing the requirements for my high school diploma, I had learned some very hard lessons. I had decided to stay alone, until such time that I found someone that was truly worth Being with. I also had issues with pleasing people that I had yet to work through sufficiently. They were worked through in my next serious relationship, engaged to a man of my father's aquaintance. He was very worthy, a great guy, but not right for me at all. Finally, the lesson was learned that I should choose someone based on me, because I'd have to live with him. But I also thought I should be alone awhile, and grow more, and concentrate on Me. Unfortunately, young pretty girls are expected to find a mate, by both society and their families. The match makers wouldn't leave me be. And I recieved entirely too much unwanted attention wherever I went. Growing tired of it all too quickly, I figured if I was going to be with someone, I'd better choose someone for myself, so I could be left alone. So much for True Love, huh? But the idealist wouldn't be satisfied with any ordinary relationship. So we convinced ourselves that we had something amazing. And we created our own little world apart where what we had brought to life could be what we needed it to be. Delusion and denial can be very strong for the weak and weary. But eventually, I did grow up. My little world became stifling, and not enough for my little ones. And when I took them out into the big world, and saw what I was missing, it became very difficult to stuff myself back into that little world. And finally, I saw how false it all was, and it was impossible to go back. So I braved that big scary world, ready to Live. And found Love. I think It was my reward for finally learning the big important lessons well. I finally learned how to Be Real. And how to see people for who they really are, not what they try to show the world, or what I want them to be. And how to accept and deal with and live with that reality. And it's not as hard, or scary, as I was afraid it would be. And I am stronger and smarter than I gave myself credit for. When I first found Love, I was overcome by such strong emotions. Carried away in a manner I hadn't expected, had never experienced. It was such a heady rush, and frightening in it's intensity. Just reading my beloved's name, completely out of context would make me giddy and weak-kneed. Anticipation of a phone call would make me breathless, and upon hearing his voice, my breath would hitch, then I could finally breathe again. But seeing his wonderful face, and being held in his arms, is what brings me Home. And there is no place like Home. Just ask Dorothy. I am finally free and strong. Able to Be ME. And he loves me completely. There is no question, or doubt; just acceptance. And it goes both ways. He asked me once to be honest, and tell him if there was one thing I could change about him, what would it be. And I thought long and hard, and could come up with nothing. And then I thought maybe the fact that he is at times too critical of himself, too hard on himself. And I told him so. But even that, is done in good humor, and with an open, honest sight for who he truly is. So even that is ok. I'm just prejudiced I suppose, because I love him so. Yes, he is human, with weakness and flaws. So am I. But he doesn't expect me to be any more than I am. And he is the other half of my soul, and completes me in ways I had never expected. I hadn't realized how empty I was; that I was only half a person. Now that I have found my soul friend, my soul mate, I am whole. Life with him is sweeter, and fuller, and more lush. I am a better person, because loving him makes me want to be a better person. He inspires me to try to be great, even though he thinks I already am. And every day with him in my life is a gift; not to be squandered or taken lightly. Now I can finally truly understand the saying, "It is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all." This finally rings true. So to all of you out there who have never known True Love, I wish you the best of luck in your search. And if you aren't searching, please do look. It's worth it. And if you've been blessed with Love in your lives, well then you'll understand the meaning of the word Grace, and I need say no more. "Faith, Hope, Love... these three....but the greatest of these is Love"